ASHES

The horizon stays there

money proliferates

someone is dying in Miami, near a pool

to endure is to endure among loss or lack

I’ve never felt exhausted by beauty

but I’m tired of describing it

The sea keeps moving

emotions are only there

romantic and legendary

I remember everything

who’s going to zip

your dress up in the morning

I remember square beginnings and endings to summer

hangovers and coke bloat

the first time I was asked for a nude

I remember the first one she sent me

Anton, allergic to summer, my heart, injected shots

on weekends we’d mix coke and Ketamine: cocquettemine

I wanted to shoot it, sweet grasses of June

later, in love, crushing Oxy

I OD’d my friend, he lived, ha ha, oh man

miracle mother fucker, right there at the orgy

Fentanyl hickies

day job bruises

love wearing camo

how it became fashion

can’t name five places

this country is occupying

I was looking for the language

of the 21st century

the body persists long after the words

that make it desirable have been used up

I saw my reflection in a pile of trash

sometimes I really don’t know what I’m doing

Ben Fama is a writer based in New York City. He is the author of the books Deathwish and Fantasy. He is the co-founder of Wonder and edits Shitwonder magazine online.